[Body] Okay, so, you wanna know ’bout them Yoku Moku cookies, huh? Alright, listen up, I’ll tell ya what I know. I ain’t no fancy city slicker, but I know good eatin’ when I taste it. First off, these cookies, they ain’t just any cookies, ya hear? They come from some fancy place called Tokyo, Japan. Aoyama, they call it. Sounds like a foreign country to me, but they sure know how to bake! They started makin’ these things way back in 1969, which is, well, a long, long time…

Alright, let’s talk about them blue and white dinner plates, you know, the ones with the fancy little pictures and stuff. I ain’t no fancy expert or nothin’, but I know what I like. And I like them blue and white plates. They just look… clean, ya know? Like, you could eat anything off ‘em, and it’d feel a bit special. Even if it’s just leftovers from last night. Now, I’ve seen all sorts of them plates. Some got flowers, some got little houses, some even got them squiggly lines…

Alright, alright, let’s gab about these murder mystery dinner party kits, you know, the ones where you and your buddies pretend someone got bumped off. Sounds kinda morbid, but it’s a hoot, I tell ya. Don’t you go thinkin’ this is some highfalutin’ thing, though. It’s just good ol’ fashioned fun, like a game, but with more yappin’ and maybe some dress-up, if you’re feelin’ fancy. So, what’s the big deal with these kits? Well, they got everything you need to throw a party where everyone gets to be a…

Alright, let’s talk about them Puerto Rican drinks, you know, the stuff they like to gulp down over there. I ain’t never been there myself, mind you, but my niece, she went once and told me all about it. So, here’s the lowdown, as best as I can remember it. First off, they got this thing called Coquito. Sounds like a little bird, don’t it? But it ain’t no bird. It’s like their Christmas drink, kinda like that eggnog stuff folks drink up north around the holidays. My niece said…

Well, let me tell ya ’bout this here drink, the “Black Superman,” or whatever them fancy folks call it. I ain’t no bartender, mind you, but I heard folks talkin’ and I figured I’d give ya the lowdown, the way *I* understand it, ya hear? What’s in this “Black Superman” thing? Sounds like a whole lotta booze to me! They say it’s got this blue stuff, “Blue Curaçao” they call it, makes it look all pretty and blue, like a summer sky, but don’t let that fool ya, it ain’t…

Alright, let’s talk about them fancy little dessert shots, you know, the ones they serve in them tiny glasses? Yeah, those. I seen ’em at that there fancy party Mrs. Johnson had, all them city folks sippin’ and whatnot. Looked pretty, but I tell ya, I can make somethin’ just as good, maybe even better, right here in my own kitchen. And it won’t cost you an arm and a leg, neither. First off, you gotta figure out what kinda dessert you want. Me? I like somethin’ simple, somethin’ that…

Alright, let’s talk about them dessert shells, you know, the ones you fill with all sorts of good stuff. I ain’t no fancy baker, mind you, but I know a thing or two about makin’ tasty treats. My grandmama, she used to make somethin’ similar, only she called ‘em “little boats of yum.” Same difference, I reckon. First off, you gotta figure out what kind of shells you want. Some folks like them puff pastry ones, all flaky and buttery. Them’s good, real good. You can buy ‘em ready-made at…

Alright, let’s talk about them weddin’ shower cookies, you know, the kind they give out at them fancy parties before someone gets hitched. I ain’t no baker, mind you, but I know what tastes good and what folks like to munch on. First off, you gotta have choices, see? Can’t just have one kind of cookie, that’s just plain borin’. Think about it, some folks like chocolate, some like peanut butter, and then there’s them oatmeal lovers. You gotta have somethin’ for everyone, even that picky Aunt Millie who only…

[Body] Alright, let’s talk ’bout cookin’ up some possum. I ain’t no fancy chef, ya hear? Just an old woman who knows her way around the kitchen, and I’ve cooked up a possum or two in my day. First thing’s first, you gotta get yourself a possum. Now, I ain’t gonna tell you how to do that. That’s your business. But make sure it’s a good, healthy one. You don’t want no skinny, sickly thing. Look for a fat one, that’s what I say. Fat means flavor, you know. Once…

[Body] Alright, let’s talk about makin’ them sweetened condensed milk cookies. You know, the kind that just melt in your mouth? Yeah, them ones. First off, you gotta get your stuff together. Don’t go runnin’ around like a chicken with its head cut off later ’cause you forgot somethin’. You need butter, the real stuff, not that fake margarine stuff. And then, of course, you need that sweetened condensed milk. The sticky, sweet stuff in a can? That’s the ticket. Now, get yourself a big bowl. I like them old-fashioned…